Cooking and Drinking
Cooking and Drinking
​Utilizing the monkey see monkey do approach
Cooking and Drinking
Cooking and Drinking
Cooking and Drinking
Cooking and Drinking
Shirley P. Fay
Nov. 21st 1929 - July 10th 2025
​Shirley's husband Frank Paul Kelsey has his own page
Click on the link to go to Franks separate page.
​Some interesting side notes about the Kelsey and Faye Union. My father Frank P Kelsey had his name changed along with many other family members back around 1917 roughly from the original spelling KOLODZIKE to the Irish sounding Kelsey. We were always led to understand. It was easier to get a job if you sounded English or Irish as opposed to German because of the first world war. Secondly, an interesting note as my father's family was all German husband and wife going back several generations. Whereas my mother Shirley Phyllis Kelsey, her father Claude was very English, but her mother Evelyn Schrader was very German. Interesting how English and German nationalities got together considering World War I and World War II were so devastating. Thirdly, my father was a fairly staunch believer in the Catholic Church not that he was an actual believer in the sanctity of religion, just the dogma. My mother on the other hand was a protestant. Not practicing of course, but again you have that dilemma of protestants and Catholics getting together, considering there was so much hatred between the French Catholic and protestants that a purge of protestants out of France then you have the whole Belfast Ireland IRA fighting with England. Funny how people get together. There was even a family rumor written in a Bible 100 years ago that we were French Huguenots from the 1500s.
So far this is the best, if not the only, explanation for why my Grandmother Evelyn drove from West Seneca, NY to Cleveland, OH to give birth to my mother Shirley Phyllis Fay in November 1929. My Aunt Marie writes that it was so "mom" Evelyn's half sister Hazel Gray could help look after her. Marie would have only been about 2 at the time.
1929
* I have been amazed on how many miss spellings there are on census forms and other important documents.
* Notice how Evelyn's last name is spelt. "Schroeder" It is Schrader. How can they get it so wrong on a Birth Certificate; and why was it never changed?
* notice that the place of birth is in the apartment, not in a hospital. Which was not uncommon during that era.
1940
1940 Census
Shirley is 10 years old now. Living at 838 Mineral Springs West Sen. So the house must be livable already at 10 years old.
If I recall the Zillow website said the house was built in 1939. Shirley will live here for another 16 years until she married Frank in 1956.
1940
About 1940
Hazel Kester/ Gray / Dube
Shirley Fay/ Kelsey (my mother)
Marie Fay/ Baldwin (moms sister
Evelyn Schrader/ Fay (mom's mother)
AI generated video clip
1945
My grandmother Evelyn Schrader Fay (later married Walter Newman) and her father August Schrader. This was taken approximately 1945 August Schrader died 1948 at age 79. Photograph is in front of grandpa's house 838 Mineral Springs, West Seneca, New York. Mom often talked about how she helped her father build the house on mineral Springs. What she remembers is bringing him boards and handing him hammers and nails. I think she was about 10 years old when they started to build this house as I have seen the Zillow stating the house was built in 1939. Not 100% sure if that's the completed date which means they might have started the house in 1938 or even 37.
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1950
1950 Census
On May 29th, 1948 Marie married Donald Baldwin and is not on this 1950s census. Shirley is 20 years old here.
1952
Birth of Carol
Carol's twin brother passed the same day
Carol Lynn March
Born Oct 31st 1952 (A Friday)
Weight 3 lbs 15 oz.
Time 4:19AM
Place of birth OLV
Baby William (William Keith March according to Cemetery records) her twin brother was buried at the foot of Claudes grave in Hillcrest cemetery in Hamburg.
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Carol Lynn- Shirley's mother (Evelyn) had a girlfriend living in Hamburg, NY. One of her children was named Carol. (mom babysat their two kids Carol and David Pierce. Both Carol and David got our named from this family)
Lynn- mom just liked how it sounded with Carol
Carol was born October 31, 1952. She had a twin brother named William who died the same day. Carol unfortunately was blinded in the hospital due to over oxygenation of the incubator she was in as she was three months premature. I'll have to get the exact weight from Carol, but she was very, very small at birth something like 3 pounds. A horrible horrific way to start. Carol's biological father Donald Vincent March has a separate page on this genealogy site. My mother gave birth without a husband, one blind child, and one dead. That was her first experience in adulthood.
1953
Mom had said Frank was going to adopt Carol. According to Carol herself, she said no adoption ever happened. I believe mom might have said that the adoption was a ploy to keep Frank out of the Korean war. Ironically, the war ended about two months after Frank went in to service.he Korean War officially ended on July 27, 1953. Frank went into the service on June 8th 1953.
Mom and Carol 1953
Claude holding Carol with mom
C 1953/54
AI generated photograph of Carol and Shirley around 1953/54
Shirley setting at the grave of her Baby, Carol's twin brother William Keith March
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See more about the babies father
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Pic of Shirley c 2010
Buried baby William Keith, March December 1952
Carol's twin brother- he passed the day of his birth October 31, 1952
1954
Notice Carol is still going by the last name of "March" April 4, 1954.
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I wonder with Frank and his family being so catholic that anticipation of marrying Frank mom had Carol baptized so many months after her birth is October of 1952. I'll have to look up and see if a year and a half is not unusual to baptize a child or did it have something to do with pending marriage. Shirley must have known Frank in April 1954 as they were married in January 1955 only eight months later.
1955
The Justice of the Peace wedding
First Marriage.
Frank and Shirley were married while Frank is on a one month leave from the Army.
January 7th 1955
Frank was 22
Shirley was 25
Frank working his magic on Shirley - December 1954
Their first wedding, justice of the peace in West Seneca, took place just a few weeks later in January 7, 1955
The former American Legion post that housed the West Seneca Town Hall in the 1950s was located at 4620 Seneca Street, which is now the site of the West Seneca Senior Center. This Seneca Street address is 4.4 miles from Claude and Shirley's home on 383 mineral Springs.
Frank and Shirley on their wedding day Jan. 7th 1955
The only photo of wedding I know of or have. I wonder if it was before the JP wedding as Frank is not wearing a wedding ring.
I remember my father telling me that when he came back to the house and announced to his father, who was sitting in the chair reading the paper, he was back from getting married to Shirley. His father John flipped down the paper and said "That's nice" and went back to reading his paper. One can get the scene that the father was not thrilled about the union.
1956
The "Church wedding"
This is a Certified Copy dated 1995. Frank must have needed it for some reason.
22 months between their first marriage and their second
Second Marriage November 6th 1956
Frank and Shirley's Church wedding/ marriage. Frank was out of the service at this point and their son Robert already 7 months old. (Remember this is the 2nd marriage. The first one was a JP wedding in West Seneca, NY)
This Church is right next to Columbus where they were living. 102 Columbus st. in South Buffalo, NY
Inside the Church
I wanted to get inside this church for some time. Finally the stars were aligned and Louisa behind the camera, Mary, Tommy Robert, Diane and I pose for a picture inside the church in June 2025
105 Columbus St. Buffalo, NY. where Frank and Shirley lived here the year of 1956. The Church wedding as it is known in the family. The Church is just down at the end of the street.
1956
​It looks like Frank and Shirley moved out of 105 Columbus to the house where Robert would have been the baby at 3603 S. Park Ave. in Lackawanna. Franks brother Danny O lived in Lackawanna at the same time. About 4 miles away.
​I can't believe it another mystery solved. We were always wondering why Robert was born in OLV hospital in Lackawanna. Here's a newspaper clipping from May 8, 1956 that gives Franks address as 3603 S. Park Ave. which is way down in Lackawanna. 3603 S. Park Ave. is 1.9 miles or five minutes drive to OLV hospital. It's actually 1.9 miles south on route 62 or S. Park Ave.
I'm sure they weren't there long but you can imagine it was at least a few months before Roberts birth and a few months after. (perhaps January 1956 to December 1956)
1956
Birth of Robert
Robert William Kelsey
Born May 8th 1956
Born at 4:26 AM
Weight 7.0 lbs
Born at OLV
Robert William
Mom told me she babysat a family whose one boy was named Robert. (Robert Hassee)
William- From her father (Claude William Fay).
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Frank with Shirley, Carol and Robert. Circa 1956
Robert was born May 8. In the photo You see a fully grown pumpkin, long sleeves and coats. Could've been a cooler day in September 1956.
Robert William Kelsey
in 1956
​Incidentally, that stool in the photo I still have as of August 2025
Robert and Carol
Robert about 2 or 3 (1957/58)
1957
The Buffalo, NY City Directory 1957
I guess we should note that is difficult to say the months of which they moved around and what directories were already in print or facilities like bill, collectors, or hospitals that were using their last known address.
This shows Frank and Shirley P. live at 105 Columbus. They lived here when they had their Church wedding on Nov. 6th, 1956.
You can also see:
Fredrick H. and Lucy and
Eugene and June
More Kelsey's listed on the other page but that is not for now.
1959
Birth of David
David Allen Kelsey
Born April 1st 1959
Time 4:57PM
Place Mercy Hospital, Buffalo
​Weight 7 lbs 9 oz.
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David Allen
David- Shirley's Mother (Evelyn) girlfriend oldest son was David (mom babysat their two kids Carol and David Pierce)
Allen- mom's school friend Alowishus Huber how ask her to marry her a few time. He was called Allen short for Alowishus.
NOTE: both Carol and I got our names from the same Hamburg Family the Pierce's. The children mom babysat were named Carol and David.
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Remember Evelyn used to live in Hamburg. There were Schrader's living in Hamburg. Evelyn's side of the family.
Bill for my (David's) birth
Me (David) and Robert
c. 1960/61
1961
Apparently we lived at 115 Prise Ave. Buffalo, NY for a short time.
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My best guess it was over the winter months of 1960 through spring of 1961. Then by 1962 we were already in Markham’s.
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Only about two blocks away from Spaulding Street although the math works out for 1961 for a very short period of time probably just the winter months. Speaking to Carol (Dec. 2025) she said the years that we would've been there would've been somewhere around when she was 7, 8 or 9 years old because she remembers living there when she was going to public school #71 for Sight Saving Classes when she was around that age. Carol also reports vivid memories of it being a house, not an apartment and that it was weird that the stairs for the upstairs bedrooms started in the kitchen. Also that the house was always cold, which might lead you to believe we were there during the winter time important to note. Judging that mom had a note that said we moved from Markems to Spaulding and did not say anything about the Prise address leads me to believe we move from Hayward Street (1960) to Prise (1961), then to Markham’s (1962) and then Spalding. (1963) spaulding, I'm sure of because we already lived there when Mary came home from the hospital in January 1964. Tommy was born at the Markems General Hospital in 1962. I had my first birthday at the Hayward Street, Perry projects, in April 1960. We were quite the gypsies apparently.
​Map shows the distance between Prise Ave. and Spaulding Street. But, as it seems, we moved from Prise to Markems, then to Spaulding. I wanted the situation via photographs and other information to confirm that we would have moved from Prise Avenue to Spaulding Street, but there is no information to support this.
1962
Mom's hand writing- Tom was born in August that year.
Carol on Pony C 1962 maybe in Marhams, NY before we moved to Spaulding St.
So June of 1960 must have been living on Hayward st. In April of 1960 I had my 1st birthday on Hayward st.
My Grandfather Claude and Frank cutting down a tree. Looks like the same tree in the photos to the left. Claude and Frank look like they are warming to same cloths.
Markems/ Dayton, NY Sept, 3rd 1962
Here I am with my favorite toy, a table lake. It was the only toy that truly understood me. Before there were raggedy Andy dolls and buzz Lightyear, there was Mr. table leg. :->
1962
Birth of Tommy
Thomas John Kelsey
Born August 22nd 1962
Time 5:54AM
Weight 7 lbs 10 oz.
Born at Mercy Hospital
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Carol, David, Robert holding Tommy in the town of Markham, NY
c 1962/63
Thomas John
Tom - Mom met Tom Leonard in 5 grade at 9 or 10 years old. A sweetheart all through 4 years of grammar school.
John- Franks father John Kelsey
1976
1970's Stockton, NY
Stockton, NY c 1976/77
Mom (Shirley) with her favorite chicken which she called "old faithful" as it gave one egg day religiously.
I have no idea why Frank thought we were farmers, but there we are. For a couple of city people he kept bringing home chickens, ducks, cows, pigs, even had a horse for a while. We had no experience no real desire to have these animals to start with. At times, it felt like we could barely feed ourselves. Surely trimming the skin of a pig circa 1977.
2009
​2009- mom's 80th birthday went to Wegmans and I had a fun photo cake made for her. I replaced Dorothy's face with hers. I think that year I also made her a tabletop mosaic of the Wizard of Oz.
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2017
​While living on Wilbur Road, mom had multiple falls. It was increasingly difficult for her to live on her own at that place. We moved her from her trailer on Wilbur Road to Independent living at one Temple Square on Temple Street in Fredonia. It is at Temple Square where my suffered a stroke.
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Mom (age 87) has near fatal stroke on Jan 22nd 2017. Doctors at Buffalo General said 90% of the people that have this type of stroke die. The family scrambles to get her out of Temple Square and into WCA where she can be monitored for food medication and falling hazards. It was all hands on deck from Mary in Virginia to Tommy, Robert and Diane, Louisa and David and of course Carol for moral support. By the time Shirley passed, she spent a total of eight years in one level or another of assisted care. WCA home on Temple Street and farther down the street the old County home on Temple Road, which is now called Chautauqua Nursing And Rehab.
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So she moved from Stockton to Wilbur Road right near Mary and Bill. Then from her trailer on Wilbur Road she went to Temple Square. Independent living. Then from Temple Square a couple blocks away she went to WCA assisted-living. Then after a couple years there down the road a few miles to the Chautauqua rehab and nursing facility. And that is where she passed on July 10, 2025.
2017
Shirley moves from independent living to WCA.
After living alone for sooo long mom finally had to move into WCA home because she couldn't be on her own any more. She needed someone to watch her meds and watch her full time. So she moved from Temple Square. apartments and moved one or two blocks away to WCA. Let me tell you it was no easy task, moving her in as the paperwork was incredible. Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security and the VA along with county and state programs needed to be navigated. I did a lot of the paperwork with the help of social workers and company employees. Mary particularly was a big help pushing a lot of this through and Tommy did a lot of heavy lifting when it came to the moving. Robert and Diane were never very far away with helping hands.
Mom's move-in-day to WCA
Feb. 15th 2017
2019
Then on July 28th 2019 mom had a second stroke. Because of the second stroke, mom loses her drive to walk/ ability to walk which consequently forces her to go to a greater level of care at the Chautauqua, Rehab and nursing home.
2020
Jan 28th 2020
After her 2nd stroke on July 28th 2019, after weeks and weeks of rehab, we had to put her into the Chautauqua Rehab and Nursing home.
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Mom was not able to walk any distance which you have to do at WCA. It's hard to believe she was there for 5 years and 7 months before she passed.
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2021
There was a time during COVID-19 that there were no admittance into the nursing home. For a while, the nursing home had a iPad that they would set up so we could Skype with mom and see how she was doing. It was always problematic because she lost most of her hearing in her left ear. I think it was. Then they stopped doing that altogether, so in order to see her, we would stand outside the building and talk to her on the telephone through the glass window.
2025
The restaurants I looked at for mom’s funeral
Domis fair in fredonia where i put money down but had to get it bake good price, good food could handle 22 people, but too far away
Savory was too small but has good food and close and short hours and we would have been to loud for the space
1812 they did not have lunch time hours- then they started to do so but closed on Tuesday.
The one on the lake sounded great but did not open on tuesday
Coyote had a back area but not everyone liked mexican
Yellow deli setting is wrong and 22 people was too many
Lois’s place but we did not like the food
Dannies where aunt mic had her meal we went there with Donny and our meal sucked
JP Fitzgerald WINNER $600.00 + tip of $91.00 tip
A very somber moment:
Moments after Shirley passed we all had some wine in paper cups to toast Shirley. Mary E. and David K. not in frame. Approximately 9:40 PM, July 10, 2025 at the Chautauqua County nursing home.
Love you mom- Sept 2nd 2025 Hillcrest Cemetery Hamburg, NY
Shirley Kelsey
November 21, 1929 — July 10, 2025
Fredonia, NY
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Shirley Fay Kelsey, 95, of Fredonia, New York, passed away peacefully on July 10, 2025, surrounded by her loving family.
She was born to Claude Fay and Evelyn Newman and was the sister of the late Marie Baldwin. Shirley was proud of her Fay family heritage and carried it with deep appreciation.
She is survived by her five children: Carol, Robert (Diane), David (Louisa), Thomas (Marina), and Mary (David), along with nine grandchildren, ten great-grandchildren, and three nephews.
Shirley worked for over 20 years as a home health aide, known for her kindness, patience, and care.
She cherished family vacations at Sylvan Beach, quiet visits to nearby shores, and attending local fairs with her eldest daughter—especially enjoying the animals, exhibits, and bringing home waffles.
Her interests included assembling puzzles, reading, watching British television, detective shows, sitcoms, and classic Hollywood films—especially The Wizard of Oz. She was also an avid collector, with a special fondness for elephant-themed and Japanese-inspired items.
She will be deeply missed and warmly remembered.
A private ceremony will be held in her honor, with close family in attendance.
Shirley's memorial was held at the Hamburg JP Fitzgerald's restaurant on Buffalo Street September 2nd 2025
​Mom doing one of her most favorite things putting together a large puzzle of the "Painter of light", Thomas Kincaid
Mom, when it came to a camera....
​Some funny things to remember about Shirley was no matter whose camera she used. She always were many times would cut the heads off people.
Mom Also had a habit of blinking/ eyes closed right as you're taking the photo
​One time I had so many photos of her with her eyes closed, I strung them together as a joke, but then as I stood back and looked at the series of probably 20 photographs. It seemed kind of macabre I just deleted them.
She did it so often we even started joking about it
Looks like John's father Henry Fay AKA David Henry Fay or Faye immigrated to America in 1655.
** one year before his son John showed at age 8 in 1656
Once you start putting in the grand and great grandkids we are looking at 12 generations of Fays.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Robert
11
12
Michael Kelsey Robert Jr. Melissa Rose Kelsey Benita
Lillie Kelsey Chloe and Chase Eli and Juniper Benita Valentina
Tommy
David
Mary
To the right is my mother's DNA test.
My DNA test is on my father's page.
Interesting note:
​My DNA test shows 29% Scandinavia, but on my mother's DNA test it shows only 5% Scandinavia. So that is obviously on my father's side of the family.
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And on my mother side, she is 48% Great Britain where I am only 33% Great Britain so you can see the English is predominantly on my mother side.
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My mother's DNA test shows Europe west at 30%, but my Europe West is only 8%. Again, I assume that emphasizes all the English is on my mother side.
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​My DNA shows 21% Europe east and my mother's is oddly, not even registering a percent. Which is queer since her mother, Evelyn, was German. "That is a curious thing."
Wednesday
Where our name came from as per mom's recollection 2005:
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So we don't forget overtime Carol's real father is Donald Vincent March.
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Carol Lynn- Shirley's mother (Evelyn) had a girlfriend living in Hamburg, NY. One of her children was named Carol. (mom babysat their two kids Carol and David Pierce. Both Carol and David got our named from this family)
Lynn- mom just liked how it sounded with Carol
Robert William
Robert- mom (Shirley) babysat a family whose one boy was named Robert. (Robert Hassee)
William- From her father (Claude William Fay).
David Allen
David- Shirley's Mother (Evelyn) girlfriend oldest son was David (mom babysat their two kids Carol and David Pierce)
Allen- mom's school friend Alowishus Huber how ask her to marry her a few time. He was called Allen short for Alowishus.
Thomas John
Tom - Mom met Tom Leonard in 5 grade at 9 or 10 years old. A sweetheart all through 4 years of grammar school.
John- Franks father John Kelsey
Mary Joann
Mary - Mom wanted to name her Joann. (a girl she babysat Joann Hassee) She did not have a middle name picked out. Frank wanting to name one of the kids and said how about Joann Mary. After thinking about it, Frank said how about Mary Joann. (Frank came up with the name Mary but did not say where the name Mary came from)
Our names came from two families, Mary and Robert's name came from the Hassee family and David and Carol came from the Pierce family who lived in Hamburg, NY
Things to ponder
​Here are a few miscellaneous thoughts that someone might want to know decades from now. One is I don't have an answer why Evelyn Fay bought so many graves at a young age. Evelyn was born in 1910. My mother said she recalls Evelyn purchasing the graves when she was around 10 years old. My mother having been born in 1929, making the purchases of the graves approximately 1939. Evelyn would have been about 29/30 years old. I will have to check back my records to see what life-changing event might have happened to her around age 30 also, I should check the Hillcrest Cemetery to see if they actually have a date of when the graves were purchased. My mother Shirley said it was around the time she was 10 years old, but in my genealogy notes I think I have it more like five or six years old. That would be one question to raffle. Here is another possibility and that is her boyfriend, Karl A. Machholz 1897-1952 (55). Maybe the gravesites were bought upon his death, so Evelyn could have the family along with him nearby. Karl was a truck driver who died while out of state. If mom was roughly 10 years old in 1943, could it have been the war that inspired her to buy graves or the death of a family member? I'll have to ask cousin Lois, Evelyn's brother Charles's daughter, if she has any recollections.
Also, Shirley passed on 10 July 2025 and we are burying her remains next to Claude and her sister as per her request. But why is she being buried on 2 September 2025. The full story is before my mother got sick. Tommy's daughter Benita was planning a birthday party for her daughter also named Bonita. Mary Kelsey Ekker wanted to come home on vacation this summer and was asked Benita. What day was she planning to have the birthday along with her brother Tommy Kelsey was going on a vacation for the month of August with his wife Marina during the time of his birthday, which is 22 August. Tommy was coming back just after the birthday around 23 August and Benita's birthday party for her daughter was scheduled for 31 August so with Mary back in town I did the coordination with the Cemetery to bury my mother while Mary was here on vacation. Seeing that she was just here a few weeks ago to be with all of us as mom passed on the 10th. Checking with The Cemetery I found out they actually charge more money to bury somebody on the weekend. So a weekday funeral was financially better and most everybody was retired so getting time off from work was not an issue for most of the siblings. Just so happens that Tommy is not coming back until at least 23 August. So that day is out. Benita's baby's birthday is 31 August so that day was out, 1 September is Labor Day, which is a Monday that day was out so I scheduled it for 2 September so Mary could still be here and attend Benita's birthday and Shirley's burial. That's pretty much the whole story why mom was buried one month after her passing after the cremation of Shirley. She's been living in my upstairs closet. I've been spending quite a bit of time trying to organize and plan for a funeral and luncheon afterwards. So far the top runner is JP Fitzgerald, right here in Hamburg. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Shirley's grand farewell tour.
​Here is a little interesting note: when Shirley was born, her birth certificate says her mother is Evelyn Schroeder. Her mother's last name is actually Schrader. When the corner was filling out Shirley's death certificate and they asked what was her mother's name I said Evelyn "Schrader", but he says I can't put that, I have to go with what's on her birth certificate, which is Schroeder. So when mom was born and when she passed her mother's maiden name is spelled wrong on both. Good luck with genealogy my fellow archivist.
